hoemami:

if u don’t like girls with stretch marks think abt how many stretch marks u gave ur mother when she carried u in her womb for 9 months and how none of them were worth it cus ur a piece of shit lol

(via pretendingnobodiesthere)

egg-rolls:

when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time

(Source: eggrollablunt, via ashlieghtaylor)

susiephone:

‘ten fashion trends men ha—’

'it’s a huge turn off when you—’

'men think you should stop—’

(via pinkwargasm)

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

(via utesleeping-blog)